Waiting for Baby

“I’m nervous about the first week,” Sarah confided. Expecting her first baby, she googled everything. I didn’t know I should’ve been nervous since google hadn’t been invented.

I’m glad.

But here we sit in the Starbucks courtyard of UNC Hospital with the prospective grandparents and google or not, we’re nervous. Nervous about the first week and month and year and lifetime of our grandson.

And happy, too.

I’m nervous about being a grandma. I mean, I wasn’t the best mother. Often I yelled. Sometimes I slacked off. Many times I failed my daughter. Yet, here I am.and my little girl going to be a mother.

Who knew almost 28 years ago as Tom and I circled Crest Lake Park in Clearwater, waiting for my water to break that this day would come.

She came into our lives and we were never the same. In the quiet of the night as I nursed her, I marveled at her tiny lips and  small hands that grasped my finger. At three years old, she pursed her lips and defied me, feet spread apart, arms crossed. I remember stating, “Will you just grow up!”

And she did.

Only after she built a playhouse with her dad, and dressed up her little brother in a nightgown and put a fake crown on his head. After she excelled in school and put me to shame. After she stood up to me again one night, calling me to repentance over sin in my life.

And then she transferred to a different school to finish her major and our relationship changed. Softened.

Healed.

Then she married a fine man from an excellent family.

Now she’s going to be a mother.

So David’s parents and Tom and I sit at a hospital Starbucks both nervous and excited.

None of us knows what it’s like to be a grandparent.

I know it’s important.

And worthy.

I think it’s gonna be fun. And heart-wrenching, and amazing.

When I tell someone I’m gonna be a grandma. They drop whatever they’re doing and look my square in the face.

“You’ll never be the same.”

I believe them.

And I don’t even need to google that.

2 Comments on "Waiting for Baby"

  1. Janel says:

    happy for all of you..

  2. Marge Morton says:

    “Grandmahood” comes quite naturally…and you will be an amazing member!! Congratulations and welcome to this wonderful world of kisses and hugs and unconditional love!! So happy for you as you embark on this new life adventure, Pauline!! Enjoy the ride!! Much love!!

Got something to say? Go for it!