Not Courageous

I watched the movie Courageous with my family. We laughed, cried, and resolved to appreciate our children each day. The message to fathers everywhere was a firm admonishment to lead.

But that’s not what I learned.

If you look at I Peter 3:1-6, it’s a message to woman. Because it is inspired, it is a message to me in 2012. Submit to my husband.

Submission is not popular, but it is Biblical.

I settled that issue years ago, and frankly it’s a relief. Leading is hard work and more responsibility. But I do lead without even knowing it.

I suggest what we should do and where we should go all too often. I intervene when my 21-year-old and husband are having loud discussions. I offer opinions about how Tom should spend his time and what he should and shouldn’t watch.

While those things are not necessarily wrong in certain circumstances, but they’ve been wrong for me. The Holy Spirit is showing me my heart. It’s a heart of fear.

The suggestions I make are often rooted in a fear of what might happen if Tom chooses. When the men in my family disagree, I’m fearful that my son, Micah, will walk out of our lives forever. When I impose my values on Tom, fear reigns in my mind. What if he does something or watches something that would cause him to sin and then he won’t want me anymore.

Sad, isn’t it.

So, I made up a new word. Submigeous. (It’s pronounced sub-mi-geous.) I’ll define it for you since I invented it.

Submigeous, adjective-To courageously submit to my husband; to take the Lord at His Word that He holds the future without being frightened by any fear: Pauline submigeously went along with Tom’s plans to buy her a red mercedes convertible. (I wish.)

Back to I Peter 3, the apostle describes it as not having to have the last word in verses 1 and 2. Submigeous is being beautiful on the inside with a gentle and quiet spirit. That doesn’t mean I can’t be outgoing. I am. It means that I don’t always have to be right because I know that God is always right. It means trusting in the hierarchy of the family without being frightened by any fear.

Without being frightened by any fear is what stood out to me. Fears are different for all of us. For me, it is being submigeous when it comes to my husband and his relationship with Micah. It means not caring if you think I’m a few straws short of a bale since I’m following my husband’s lead. It means not running ahead of Tom like Rebecca did with Isaac.

She knew it was God’s will to bless Isaac over Esau, but she couldn’t trust God to make it right. She deceived her husband, estranged Esau, and never saw Isaac again.

I don’t want to learn that lesson.

The movie encouraged husband and fathers to take the lead and be courageous. The Bible encourages women to not take the lead and be submigeous.

Both take courage. Both take action. Both take God.

Because of that, I’m going to make my own Submigeous Resolution:

Resolved that I desire to obey the command to submit to my husband without being frightened by any fear, trusting God’s Word and His heart on this first day of June, in the year two-thousand and twelve.

Maybe I could star in my own movie.

On second thought, I think I’ll run that by Tom.




One Comment on "Not Courageous"

  1. Beth Sparks says:

    Well said, as always, Pauline! You speak for many women when you write, including me. Thank you!

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