Emotional Over Plastic Wrap

If you’re like me, you can stay awake for hours obsessing about an off-hand remark from someone. For instance, if you asked your best friend if she could stop by for a visit and she said, “I can’t come over right now.” you wonder what she really meant.

Maybe she has a new best friend, or maybe she is mad at you for a similiar comment you made unknowingly. Perhaps what she meant to say was, “I’m tired of being friends with someone who is so needy. Instead of being your friend, I’m going to join a knitting group where I’ll be able to mindlessly use my hands while conversing with woman who actually have something to say!”

As you continue to mull over her terrible words, you begin to analyze your husband’s behavior. Why didn’t he eat peanut butter this morning? He always eats peanut butter! Before you know it, he’s run away with a massage therapist you met once, and you decide you need lipo-suction. But you can’t afford it. Then you consider a second mortgage, but how will you afford it if your husband has left?Then you realize you probably imagined most of it since you aren’t sure your husband even knows the massage therapist. Plus, he wouldn’t do that.

Three hours and four bathroom trips later, you fall asleep at 5:45 and have to be up at 6:15.

I’m not saying that happens to me. But it might.

However, I never thought I’d get emotional about plastic wrap. My friend, Carla does. She bought the big roll from SAM’s about eight years ago and it is finally coming to an end.

She’s sad. I’m not so sad about mine since when I bought it four years ago, I did something wrong immediately and the plastic tore incorrectly. I tried taking it out of the cardboard roll thing, but when I did, I broke something. So now it tears funny and something is broken.

I resorted to scissors (who decided how to spell that word???) tied on a monofilament line that gets caught in my pantry drawer whenever I try to cover something. So when this plastic wrap goes, I’m buying another one and hiring someone from SAM’s to install it.

But Carla is sad. Eight holidays, two weddings and one grandchild later, she remembers all the cooking, cleaning and covering she did as an inanimate object kept on rolling and she kept on living.

I’m getting teary-eyed just thinking about it.

I sure hope I don’t dream about it.

I need to get some sleep.

5 Comments on "Emotional Over Plastic Wrap"

  1. Jan Powell says:

    Ermma Bombeck would smile.

  2. Melinda S says:

    this is hilarious!! I’m sharing it!

  3. phylton says:

    Thanks Jan and Melinda. I guess I’m an Erma Wannabee…

  4. diane gordon says:

    its not my plastic wrap that I will ever cry over but it makes me love my tin foil even more as it fits over all the odd shapes stuff in my life without ever once having a tricky exit from the box,like his cousin plastic wrap, and i usually cut myself on those razor teeth that seem to do nothing to the plastic wrap but always finds a place on my body to cut. No I won’t cry for my plastic wrap.

  5. Pauline Hylton says:

    Truer words have never been spoken. I especially am with you on those razor sharp teeth, friend. Ouch!

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