A New Chapter

by phylton on May 16, 2012 in Family Life with 4 Comments

The starched pillows rested behind us against the stiff hotel headboard. Tom beside me, we clasped hands as he prayed.

“Lord, as we come to a new chapter in our lives, we are thankful.”

My mind wandered to a picture. An ivory page settled there. Two paragraphs in typewriter print appeared. The lines were blurred. Glimpses of the words Sarah and David jumped out at me. I thought I saw “Happily Ever After” somewhere, but it was elusive.

The plan for the day was clear. Sarah and David would have an inside wedding because of rain, a reception in a dreamy carriage house, and then honeymoon in Paris.

Later, the chapter words echoed through my mind as I watched Sarah sitting on a stool in the rambling old house she’d called home for over three years.  A make-up artist mixed colors from a table-full of cosmetics while her her bridesmaids and life-long friends giggled, cried, ate, drank, and smiled.

These girls had roomed together, prayed together, worshiped together, and even shared clothes together without fighting. There was plenty of conversation from the girls and even more introspection from me and David’s mother and grandmother. Those of us who’ve lived several other chapters in our lives.

I walked with Sarah up the carpeted stairs to her green bedroom filled with natural light. Pine trees bowed with rainy wind as she looked around her room for the last time. Her bags were packed. Her mind set. Still, she paused.

A new chapter. A sequel from mine.

I put my arm around her as I remembered the previous chapters in my life and wondered about the next.

Many think we write our own books. We do not. The Master Story-teller writes with eloquence and depth and knowledge that we don’t have. And the ending is the same for His children.

Mary-Louise, David’s grandmother said it best. She read from Revelation 21: 1,2, as Sarah sat on that make-up stool. “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.”

Those who belong to Christ Jesus all have the same ending. And it’s truly a “Happily Ever After,” story.

But Sarah begins a new chapter today.

And it’s good, because the Master-Storyteller is good.

The end.

Also, the beginning.

 

Counting Down

by phylton on May 7, 2012 in Family Life with 4 Comments

I never really liked children. I told all my friends. That’s why, when I told them I was pregnant they weren’t thrilled. Plus, I lost my egg.

The eggs were an assignment for the inner-city girls group that my friend and I led after we graduated from college. Since teenage pregnancy was a problem in that area, we gave them the “egg assignment.” They were to carry a hard-boiled egg in a wire basket wherever they went for one whole week. No eggless nights, no eggless days. It represented a baby. Kind of.

But I lost mine, so I flunked egg 101.

Then, I got pregnant. So I had two strikes against me. Losing my egg and not liking children.

Shortly after I conceived, I was sick. And pregnant. And my face broke out.

But the baby grew in my stomach and in my heart. By the time I laid eyes on Sarah in the hospital, I was in love.

That was twenty-four years ago.

I can’t believe it.

And today, I’m packing for her wedding. It’s Sunday. In Tallahassee.

Where did the years go? I remember when she was four and playing with her friends across the street. They had a fight and Sarah came home crying. I hurt more than she did. Or later, when she and her dad and Micah built a tree house in our backyard. They’d be out there for hours hammering away.

Then there was middle-school. Enough said.

Then high school. My parents lived with us. Dad lost both legs to diabetes. I lost track of my little girl and the distance seemed insurmountable.

But God is a God of bridges. And we crossed that gap.

She met David and her face changed. She smiled a lot more.

I saw the pictures of her and David at a “Couples’ Shower.” In every one of them, Sarah was laughing.

It makes me smile.

It also makes me cry.

You know.

Think of us on Mother’s Day, will you?

And smile.

 

No More Slips

by phylton on May 1, 2012 in Friendship with 1 Comment

Ladies. Have you tried to buy a slip lately? Difficult. Now there’s “Shapewear.” That’s short for “Straightjacket.”

Two close friends told me I needed it. One was my pastor’s wife.

My daughter’s wedding is coming up in 14 days and my lumps were not invited.

So my good friend and Nazi wedding coordinator went shopping with me. We even tried on shapewear in the same dressing room.

That’s friendship.

That’s not all she’s helping with. Her job is to organize everything and nag Sarah and I about the rest. She has a difficult job. Almost impossible. It was so hard, she had to enlist our other friend, Beth Sparks from Joyful Wedding Planner’s help.

Genetically, Sarah and I both have the great idea gene, and the let’s throw a party in fifteen minutes gene, but missed the detail gene.

I’m okay with it. Details are why I have friends like Miriam and Beth. They’re also sisters in Christ. God didn’t make us all the same, so we all need each other. Like a body. They are the brains and I’m the, well, I’m not sure. Maybe I’m the Uvula. (That’s the little round thing that hangs down in your throat.)

No matter. I just know that I’m grateful for the body of Christ and my detail-crazed friends. Sarah and I will really be grateful on Sunday, May 13 when there are chairs and starched napkins and food and flowers and escort cards tied with a green ribbon.

There will also be nosegays. Think about that.

I’ll be there with a princess-like steely blue dress that my pastor’s wife made me buy. I’ll have matching shoes and a useless matching purse supplied by Miriam.

I’ll also be wearing a straightjacket. I mean, shapewear.

Thank Miriam for that.

Here’s Beth’s link. I love that woman.

http://www.joyfulweddingplanning.com/

A Marriage Conference

by phylton on April 25, 2012 in Gospel, Marriage with 2 Comments

I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot. Probably because my daughter is going to tie the knot on Mother’s Day in Tallahassee. Maybe because after 30 years of what most consider a good marriage, Tom and I had to work through a few issues that have been problems in our marriage and we didn’t see them until recently.

Kind of like the crack on the big mirror in our bathroom. It’s been there since we moved in, but after a while, I got used to it and don’t notice it anymore.

So when there was a one-day marriage conference at Lakeside Community Chapel and Tom had the day off–we went.

The conference was an answer to prayer.

Steve Kreloff began with Ephesians 5:18, “And do not be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit.”

Strange way to start a conference on marriage.

He went on to explain being filled with the Spirit as feeding on God’s Word and willing to obey it. It’s being focused on others. Like our spouses.

Brilliant.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud ( if I can use that word) to be part of my church. So Christ-centered. So practical. So necessary.

I left during the next session on husbands loving their wives. I heard bits of it and marveled at how God uses His Word to change lives.

Next session was the role of women by Bruce Mills. A cop. And not a warm and fuzzy one, although I count him as a friend. Another winner. Bruce was so gracious and kind. Not only a succinct definition of what submission is, but also what it’s not. I needed to hear all of it.

Our assistant pastor, Joe Trofemuk ended the conference with a message about communication.

“Debbie and I have a secret to our marriage. If I have time at the end, I’ll tell share with you what that is.” Then he went on to describe 5 characteristics of gospel-centered communication. It’s designed to please God, preceded by thought, motivated by love, done with openness and honesty, and intended for good. Wow.

At the end, he remembered to share the secret of their happy marriage. “When we have a conflict, we both think we’re the worst sinner in our marriage.”

Simple but profound.

That thought has crossed my mind over these last several days. If I realized the magnificence of God and my sinfulness, I’d fall on my face and say, “Woe is me.”

We’ve been taught that in  Sunday School. But believing it, living like it, and especially seeing ourselves as the worst sinner in our marriages is life-changing.

I think I’ll have Tom order a new mirror.

 

Locking Shields

by phylton on April 17, 2012 in Uncategorized with No comments

“How have you been?” She asked innocently.

Then, I told her.

“Well, the Lord has been working on me to conform me to His image. Tom and I have been married for 30 years and right after Christmas, we realized that even though we like and love each other, our marriage still needs work. I needed work.”

My friend was stunned.

“I guess I realized that just because we’ve been married a long time, doesn’t mean there aren’t sin areas.” I caught my breath. Might as well tell all.

“Like controlling. I hadn’t realized how much I tried to control my husband and my children. The Lord has been convicting me about that. It’s an unbelief issue. I just need to trust. I know I can’t move on in my walk with Christ if I don’t trust Him.”

“I don’t want to be like Rebecca who knew God’s will was to bless Jacob and instead of trusting God to work things out, she ran ahead of him and deceived Isaac. She never saw her son again.”

“I don’t want something like that to happen to me.”

My friend who just asked a passing “how are you?” at a wedding shower, received an earful.

Tears filled her eyes. “Thanks, Pauline. I needed to hear that.”

As Christians, why are we afraid to be honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ? James says to confess our sins to one another. Not details. Not gossip. It’s called transparency. It accomplishes much.

It humbles us. It encourages others that they are not the only ones who struggle. It encourages us both that God is sovereign and still working on all of us to conform us to the image of His Son.

Just last week, family friends of ours were struggling with a heart-breaking issue. They called and asked for prayer. I prayed. I received permission to share their request with close friends and other prayer warriors.

We all prayed. And God worked mightily. They were able to have agape love in a difficult situation, and share the gospel with an unsaved man. Amazing.

A few weeks ago, I studied the armor of God in Ephesians 6. The Bible Study Fellowship leader spoke about some specifics. “We need to lock shields with other believers in prayer. We’re not fighting against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. We need each other.”

We do.

It’s not airing our dirty laundry. We’re family, it’s okay.

Is there someone you can lock shields with today? Perhaps I can lock shields with you, friend.

Let me know. In the meantime, no matter what, pray. It changes things.

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